It's October- my favoritest month in the whole year- which means that there should be a plethora of horror flicks playing on our TV. Horror is not Felicia's preferred genre. She would much rather be watching suspense/thrillers (which I'm cool with as long as they're intense) and chick-flicks (which women except for me seem to go ga-ga over)
Anyway.... Felicia has been promising over and over that one of these nights she will stay up with me to watch a scary movie. However, she conveniently either .....
a) Makes puppy-dog eyes to watch Bones.
b) Falls asleep.
I would have nothing against her favorite shows if she would not watch them obsessively and all the time. Every time I turn around it's "Bones? Bones? Bones?" - I introduced her to the show maybe... hmm... 3 weeks ago and she has already watched 62 episodes. Let's do the math :
62 episodes * 45 minutes each = 2790 minutes total watching Bones
2790 minutes / 60 minutes in an hour = 46.5 hours total watching Bones
1 week = 7 days , 3 weeks = 21 days
21 days * 24 hours per day = 504 hours in 3 weeks
(46.5 hours * 100) / 504 hours = 9.22% of total 3 weeks watching Bones.
...... well, that wasn't as bad as I thought.
She still watches Bones a lot.
Anyway, the point is that when we do watch TV, we watch more Bones than we watch anything else. I got tired of her promising and then not really following through (yet). So, last night, I decided to stay up all night watching campy horror flicks. And I did. I am exhausted.
This weekend's line-up...
The Exorcist (R)
Having been a scaredy-cat for a good majority of my life, I have missed out on a lot of the horror classics. I don't know how or when my taste in movies changed... maybe some sort of demonic possession? Felicia can't complain too much - at least my head doesn't revolve 360 degrees and I don't shoot vomit at people. I was a little let down by this movie but that's not the movie's fault. I think it's because people have talked this movie up so much that ever with my new liking for horror, I excepted to wet my pants. I blame it on all of the pointlessly violent video-games the kids play nowadays, myself included. We've all become desensitized to this kind of horror un Nevertheless, for its' time I can see how it would have been especially frightening. My only big complaint is that it just takes so long to get into the actual story, and what the hell were we in Iraq for in the beginning again?
Videodrome (R)
Believe it or not, I had been debating over the past month whether or not to check this one out. I mean, the description on the DVD's back makes it look really exciting- a secret TV show about torture and murder that's real and sucks you in. But I guess I was turned off for a while because I didn't know how intense it would be. Morbid curiosity took over and this night I just had to watch it. This one certainly took me for a loop. I was a little uncomfortable with it at first; it's very sexual. But the secret conspiracies, trippy dream sequences, and the fact that for a while I couldn't tell what was supposed to be real and what wasn't really threw this over the edge and made it very exciting for me. This was probably my favorite movie of the evening.
This one was kind of spur of the moment. I saw it while flipping through the selection on Netflix and thought 'Why the hell not?' .... I have no idea what the creators were thinking when they wrote this because it's the most nonsensical thing I have seen in a long time. What's worse is that despite how terrible it was, it was like a train wreck - it was so horrible I could not look away. We start with an interesting premise of genetically altered trees which, instead of being the villains themselves, turned people into zombies which proceeding to kill everyone in sight. Also, if you hide in a log cabin, the zombies have no idea where you are. Even if you're bleeding. Nevertheless, some of the zombie killing scenes were some of the most brutal I'd seen in a while, and that alone made it pretty exciting. If you can watch this one without really paying for it, you're better off.
Maniac! (R)
This was even worse than the trees-who-turned-people-into-zombies movie. I'm not sure why this film was even made because the story never goes anywhere. We just have this mentally unstable childhood-abused photographer who murders women who look like his mother, scalps them, and wears their hair - and plays dolls with life-size mannequins. Creepy? Yes. Scary? Yes. Material for a good horror flick? No. Remind you much of The Silence of the Lambs which is basically this movie only ten-thousand times better? Yes. Of course, I could have been in such a sleep-deprived stupor that I didn't remember anything of what was going on. Which is highly plausible. Nevertheless, just pass on this one.
No comments:
Post a Comment